In 2018-19 I was in a training program to become a certified trauma recovery coach, which I had always intended to use to support others like myself, as I am an individual who lives with a disability I was born with. I remember vividly being struck with horror when finding out about the Vallow-Daybell Murder Case and one of the victims having a disability, with potentially another having a chronic illness. As a disabled individual who loves true crime, with a particular interest in cases involving disability, the case was on my radar and I followed what I could while doing everything involved with the course and protecting my mental health. Fast forward and now I am five to six years out from training so I had the time to watch the majority of the recent trial, especially with the help of a few YouTube channels that allowed me to get the overall idea of what was going on and view parts of the trial. I’ve long known about the ways the justice system tends to use a person’s disability against them and the overarching views society has about disability. We all know not every murder case is going to be highly televised. It usually takes something extreme and, sad but true, sometimes something like a disability because it is “unique” that grabs the attention of others before such crimes even get the attention of law enforcement. Something you wouldn’t know as someone outside of the lived experience of disability, and most times within it, is that at least one person with a disability is murdered by their caregiver each week.
I was about 14 – 15 years old and I’ll never forget my first time seeing the (Canadian) national news report on a case regarding a girl with Cerebral Palsy whose father murdered her. One of the clips of evidence showed an image of her being abandoned on the steps of a church, in winter, several years before the murder occurred. To the media and professionals involved, this indicated that there was a change of heart because someone returned to the church to bring her home. Fast forward to the trial, according to the same professionals, it was proof that he had regard for human life. It was considered an act of mercy and he was given 22 months of house arrest. I know we don’t want to discriminate against those with disabilities and we want to include them. But when we are doing this in the confines of the criminal justice system there is not a disability that is as black and white as the justice system is or requires it to be. The way we talk about disabilities is important, does impact people, and influences outcomes. You can get all the experts you want to talk about disability, which they do from their knowledge base and understanding of the symptoms of a disability, however, they don’t know the day-to-day manifestations of a disability that can’t neatly fit into the boxes of a condition with a list of symptoms. I don’t have autism, yet, as an individual with a disability, I can think of several different ways that JJ scratched Chad’s neck, knowing that he was autistic and assuming what might have been taking place when the scratch occurred, just from drawing on my own experiences around those with autism. NONE of which, at any age, makes JJ responsible for his murder. I don’t think anyone thinks or feels that JJ was the cause of his murder. Realistically, there isn’t any seven-year-old who can be held responsible for their murder, autistic or otherwise.
As I watched live streams of the recent trial I saw questions start to come up about whether or not Chad may be autistic, which to me as a disabled individual, who doesn’t have autism but loves many individuals who do, came across as saying those with autism are or can be criminals. If you know anything about any disability and how it appears in day-to-day life, versus how it reads from a medical text or is relayed by an expert, you wouldn’t have such questions. Even though that seems general and harmless it isn’t because something like autism, or any other disability, doesn’t show up the same way in every individual. To prove something is criminal three things must be met, Means, Motive, and Opportunity. When you add the complexity of a disability into the context of a crime one or all of those pieces are not going to be at play, depending on the disability and the crime. I hate that three people were murdered, I don’t only hate that JJ was because he was disabled in a similar way to myself. Yet, I experienced something that I’ve rarely seen happen in the rarity of murder cases involving those with a disability. When Chad was sentenced to death, there was now a case on the books involving a disability where the penalty was harsh, which offered me hope that future cases involving disability, where it was fitting, would follow the same, resulting in the same outcome. To reduce a human to a condition that they live with is dehumanizing. There are many self-regulating behaviors that autistic individuals rely on that at first glance, not knowing about autism and the reason behind it, can easily lead one to believe something sketchy is about to take place, it happens to those with autism often where someone will witness something and call the cops to report suspicious activity. But, if you go just past that point you may discover that the individual struggles in ways that interfere with their ability to premeditate anything or with their means, motive, and opportunity to take part in or play out such acts.
Many of us know how to read, we understand what is being said, and we are not void of human emotion. Just like anyone else we get hurt by the words and actions of others. So please, when you are in live streams or podcasting about cases know that due to the accessibility of the platforms, we are listening/watching. We will speak up and address things that are harmful to ourselves and fellow members of our community. It doesn’t mean that we are defending the actions of those who harm us, any wrongdoings, or making a disability any more or less important than it is. A little kindness and thought go a long way because those with disabilities are loveable and have families that do love them. We know all too well that there are ones that don’t!
Powerfully Powerless 